Brown belt and black shoes -- why fashion is stupid and makes no sense

Why does fashion matter? I mean, what does it say about a person that is fashion coordinated? Only that the person spends a lot of time thinking about fashion. Is that such a good thing???

Why can't I wear a black belt with brown shoes or visa versa? Why is this such a faux-pas? And when I do this, why does everyone chastise me to no end?

And why can't I wear my blue faded jeans? How can a good pair of Levi's go out of style?

Fashion is stupid.

Whoa!! Do I dare say that? Yes … I'll even say it again … watch out … here it comes …

FASHION IS REALLY STUPID!!

Yeah. I can understand trying to look clean and presentable but why are ALL the men wearing those diagonal stripes these days? I mean is everyone a lemming and just needs to follow the oracle of the "trend"???

Ok … something else that bugs me .. Ties. I mean, what is the purpose of a tie except to suffocate you and to land in your lunch? I just do not understand the point. I mean, how did all of western society conform to such a stupid fashion? Don't we have an sense to change this fad?

Guess what else is stupid??? Grammar. And spelling. Huh? Yeah, Spelling. And table settings.

OK. I admit it. I don't know a thing about grammar. I never learned it. And frankly … I don't care. I'm sure this post will be riddled with grammatical errors … but guess what? You'll still understand what I am talking about. You'll understand me just fine.

So what's the big deal about grammar???

I find huge joy in ending my sentences with prepositions.

And spelling. So Dan Quayle spelled potato as "potatoe" -- so what's the big deal? Is there anyone who speaks English who doesn't know what he means? Spelling is really important to avoid confusion -- and so is grammar by the way -- but beyond that it as little value except to take a whole lot of brain power and to attempt to draw class distinctions -- neither of which is really useful to society.

And … while I am on a role … who really gives a hoot about which side to set the fork??? I mean, come on!!! There might occasionally be some practical purposes (like so you do not steal your neighbor's fork), but overall, table manners is a lot of hooey. When I'm at home alone … with no one else around … I like lick my plate. I mean, I just cooked something tasty, finished it, and there is some scraps on my plate (or in a bowl). So I lick it. Delicious. But I wouldn't dare do that in front of company (or even in front of my best friends) … I'd be an outcast, a pariah, a fool.

So I sit there, sitting on my hands, staring at this delicious plate … and I bemoan things fashionable that are not purposeful …